


Exposition

by VeryImportantDemon



Series: Elements of Plot [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Poetry, Prose Poem, a love poem to Hamilton, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:18:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9484664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryImportantDemon/pseuds/VeryImportantDemon
Summary: [Part One of a series of poems following the events of the tumultuous life of Alexander Hamilton]The words in my brain betray meMy mind is glassThey burst throughI shatter





	

It does not taste like copper   
When I am born   
It tastes like hope   
Possibility   
It tastes like copper  
When my father leaves  
Because it is my fault  
Why else would he leave   
My mother loved him  
Abandonment tastes  
Like copper  
But my mother stayed  
French tastes like  
Sounds like  
Sugar cane   
Delicate, sweet  
Home  
Then my mouth tastes like copper  
I am choking on it  
Drowning in it   
My skin is on fire  
My bones are glass   
I long for the sugarcane taste   
Of my mother's voice   
But she is beside me  
She is dying, too  
Cold hands grip my heart  
The fire moves in   
My tears taste   
Like salt  
I can't feel anything   
But the fire inside   
I only know my mother is there   
Because she wouldn't leave me  
Would she leave me   
I barely breathe in   
Barely breathe out  
Breathe   
Breathe  
Breathe   
The fire consumes me   
But it consumes her first   
I did not expect to wake up   
But I did   
Alone  
Sugarcane had gone   
The copper taste in my mouth  
Replaced it  
The fire is gone  
Cold replaces  
The storm comes   
Next  
Rain should cleanse me  
Punish me  
The storm smells like petrichor  
But harsher  
The storm tastes like copper   
In my mouth   
Because I am here  
My town is gone   
But I am here  
So many are gone   
But I am here  
I wouldn't  
Couldn't   
Drown  
Why am I here   
I pick up   
A pencil  
It is heavy in my hand  
Like metal   
Like lead  
The words in my brain betray me  
My mind is glass  
They burst through   
I shatter  
I pour my pain   
Everything I am   
Into the letter   
All it is   
All I am   
Is the pain   
The pain of leaving   
The pain of drowning in air  
Because everyone is gone  
But I am here   
It is my duty   
To tell their story  
I am alive  
So I tell their story  
I feel like I am writing  
With my blood  
The ink tastes   
Like copper  
I am writing   
In my blood  
I am running out   
I keep writing  
I have to keep writing   
I keep writing  
I run out of blood  
The scent   
The taste   
Is thick  
I choke on it  
But I keep writing   
I write like I have   
No more time  
Someone has to tell their story  
I write everything down   
Everything   
I write until I have said   
Everything I can   
I want to burn it  
But words are precious   
I do not burn them  
Someone needs to read them  
Someone needs to know   
Someone needs to tell their story  
I send them to my father  
I do not expect him to reply  
He doesn't   
I am not disappointed  
It is possibly just as good  
As burning them   
But he will see them   
Someone will know  
I can smell the parchment burning  
Burning  
Burning  
Burning  
I can see tendrils of smoke rising   
Curling into the air  
I can smell the thick  
Cloying scent   
Of my blood burning   
The smell haunts me  
I can see the droplets   
Round, red   
Rolling down my words  
Splashing onto the sparking timbers  
My words will burn  
I will burn  
But not today   
Today I smell salt  
Sugar  
Today the ground sways   
Beneath my feet  
It is not ground  
It is a ship  
I open my eyes   
There is a city   
Sprawling before me  
There is my future  
I can see it   
I can smell it  
Even from here  
I will do   
Whatever it takes  
To make that city mine  
I will do  
Whatever it takes  
To survive   
I do   
I survive  
I throw myself   
Into my work  
I read   
Like words are oxygen   
And I am drowning again  
I write  
Like I am running out of time  
But I do not forget  
I can never forget  
When I close my eyes   
I feel the rain on my skin  
When I close my eyes  
I hear my mother's voice   
When I close my eyes  
I taste blood  
So I do not forget them  
I cannot forget them  
I cannot give them much  
But I tell their story  
I wrote my own freedom  
So I will write theirs too  
I will not stop  
I cannot stop   
Until we are free  
I will not stop   
Until I belong   
I cannot stop  
I will not stop  
I meet him next   
He is not large and loud  
Like my tailor   
He is quiet   
Thoughtful  
He is not energetic and enthusiastic   
Like my Frenchman   
He is calm  
Collected  
He is not brash and feeling   
Like my dear boy  
He is so  
So different   
From my dear boy  
He is so different from me   
He is everything   
I am not  
I am drawn to him  
I gravitate to him  
It is strange  
But I feel like I know him  
Have we met before   
I know him  
How do I know him  
I go to him  
Talk to him  
He talks back  
I light up  
We are so different   
But so alike   
I cannot stay away   
He speaks to me   
He says   
Talk less  
Talk less  
Talk less  
He tells me to   
Smile more   
Smile more  
Smile more  
I laugh  
He smiles  
I take his advice   
And tuck it away   
I smile  
I ask him my own question   
I ask him  
Not what he stands for  
But what he would  
Fall for  
He doesn't answer   
He smiles  
I wonder if  
I will ever know   
I wonder if  
I will see him fall  
I wonder  
What I will fall for   
I wonder why   
I feel like I know him   
Wonder  
Wonder  
Wonder  
I don't stop wondering   
Or fighting  
Or moving  
Or writing   
Or talking   
I go because   
I do not know how to stop  
I go because   
I do not know what I would do   
If I did stop  
Why stop  
There isn't time  
To stop  
They didn't get time   
My town didn't get time   
But I did   
I have   
Time  
But not enough   
But I have   
Time   
What is   
Time  
Everything   
Nothing   
Yesterday   
Today   
Tomorrow  
It governs me  
I am nothing but   
A slave  
To time  
It owns me  
Decided every action I take  
Every move I make   
Time   
I don't have   
Time   
I want more   
Time   
How do I get more   
Time  
Time is  
A cruel taskmaster  
Time   
Does not relent   
Time   
Does not forgive  
Time   
Does not forget   
I am greedy   
I hunger for more  
Time   
To take someone down   
You must bring them close  
Time   
Has me close  
Time   
Raises my up  
Time   
Takes me down   
Time   
Destroys me  
Glorifies me  
Vilifies me  
In the end   
Time will decide  
Who I am  
I want more  
No   
Need more   
Time  
I will do what I can   
But there is not enough   
Time   
There is never enough   
Time   
In the end  
It is not man   
Who decides   
Man does not decide   
Who lives  
Who does  
Who tells the stories   
We create  
Man does not decide   
But time  
I take my time   
I do not go slow  
But I take my time  
I reach up  
And I take my time  
What I can do  
Is write  
Fight  
I fight   
I thrust myself  
Into battle  
Battle of words  
Battle of wills  
I dream   
I dream of rising   
Of living   
Of dying  
I dream of making something   
Something of myself   
Something of an orphan   
With nothing but his name  
I dream of making something   
Something that will outlive me  
Something that will be better   
Far better than me  
Mostly I dream   
Of dying   
I will not let anyone   
But time  
Make me   
Or anyone else  
Slave  
I wonder   
Fight  
Move  
Write  
Talk   
I find him, next  
He is tall  
Brave   
Quiet  
Kind  
He calls me   
So I go  
He wonders like me  
Fights like me  
But he doesn't move like me  
Write like me   
Talk like me   
He say that I  
Am like what he once was  
We are almost the same  
The same will  
Drive   
The same desire   
Passion   
Not the same   
But close  
He is not the   
Only one   
Who calls for me  
My country calls for me   
My tailor calls for me  
My Frenchman calls for me  
My dear boy calls for me  
My town calls for me  
He calls for me, too  
The one I should know  
The one I keep finding  
The one I keep meeting  
Why do we keep meeting   
I am still drawn to him   
He tells me to   
Talk less  
I smile at him  
He laughs  
I am still drawn to him   
I still want to know  
What he would fall for  
But I do not have   
That dreadful thing   
Called time   
To ask  
I wonder   
If I will ever know  
Know   
Know   
Know  
I wonder   
How we will fall


End file.
